No more special (!) or how I am learning to Use the Nice Things

I’ve got a bad habit. It’s a doozy.

My bad habit of not using stuff. Of not enjoying things.

Not just any stuff, but the nice things. I think it is ingrained in us. Don’t use the fancy china, it’s for special occasions. Champagne is for celebrations, we’ll buy it when we have something to celebrate. Oh, I don’t use that foundation. It’s my good foundation, for special events. Z., honey, don’t make me a cup of that tea. I’m saving it for a special night. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I could go on about my ridiculousness.

I’ve done it since I was a kid. While everyone else would get a sticker book and have a blast, I never used mine. I didn’t want to ruin it because then I couldn’t enjoy it anymore. I savored the idea of something so much that I never actually used it. Now, years later, I am still doing it.

I’ve known it has been a problem, so I would do some stuff to address it. I got some beautiful (and expensive) Kate Spade wine glasses for the wedding from my MIL. I wanted a whole set, but Z (quite rightly) didn’t want cabinets full of stuff we don’t use. I think out of spite or to justify the fact I still want the whole set, I use those glasses all the time. Dinner party? Use the Kate’s! Romantic dinner at home? Use the Kate’s!. Family popping over for dinner? Use the Kate’s! I use them a couple times a month, almost every month. And every single time, they make me happy.

Cloth napkins? Every day. I use them every day because it’s a little luxury for my meals.

I know where some of this mindset comes from. I grew up poor-ish and there was always the reality that if you broke something or ruined it, then you would never have it again. I still thing it is important to not abuse or mishandle your things. But it was my makeup purge that made me realize how much I still hoard pretty, luxury items because I am scared to “ruin” them. I might mess them up and then I wouldn’t have them anymore. Looking at all the beautiful items I had, items that were going to go bad, it made me realize how foolish I was. Things are meant to be used. Items are supposed to give us enjoyment and having something sit on a shelf is not enjoyable. It’s like having a beautiful, leather-bound book and never reading it. Or paying for dinner and not eating the food.

So, I’m working on it.

Champagne? Z and I now keep a couple bottles in the house at all times. Because sometimes you need to celebrate being in love and having a blessed life on a Tuesday. Use your fancy china.

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